Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
