I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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