To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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