he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she peed on how many people?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
