So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
