Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
