dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
