i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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