Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This is my gift to your gina
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