It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
