I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
