You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
