Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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