He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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