hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
