I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
