I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
