Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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