with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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