we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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