glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I FOUND THE LEGS
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
