I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
