no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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