Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
