sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
