have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
