I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
