WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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