the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
