I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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