I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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