I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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