He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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