dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
