i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
