THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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