You're a womanizer and a bitch.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
