I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
time to smoke my breakfast
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
