My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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