wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
