you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
