well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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