Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
