dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
