i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
