you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
