Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
