I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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