from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
