Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
