Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
