I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
false alarm, still single
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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