Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
