Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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