Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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