Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
