nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can I color on your dick again?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
