I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
