We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Im part way to drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
