I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
