you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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